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Tags: lists, movies, survival horror, zombies
We beg for The Empire Strikes Back, but time and time again, we get The Phantom Menace. Few things are more disappointing than waiting for a video game movie to be released, only to spend $10 for 90 minutes of crap (or waiting for the DVD to watch 93 minutes of Special Edition Director’s crap). Until movie studios start paying attention to PetitionOnline.com, maybe we should turn to “view alikes.” Here are some movies which are in the same vein, but are much better than the major video game adaptations.
Alone in the Dark
The original game in this Ur-Survival Horror franchise featured a paranormal investigator who investigated evil in a residence. The movie is a hodgepodge of government agencies, gunfights, bad special effects, and Tara Reid. Lord of Illusions handles occult investigations better, with P.I. Harry D’Amour aiding an illusionist who uses sorcery instead of sleight of hand. In the Mouth of Madness follows an insurance investigator who is searching for horror novelist Sutter Cane whose books are turning people insane. Also a better bet, the X-Files ancestor Night Stalker (the made-for-TV movies and the regular series) following newspaper reporter Carl Kolchak’s paranormal investigations.
Doom
Movies need more than one main character, so Doom’s “badass lone protagonist vs. the monsters from Hell” premise was an obvious casualty. But to replace it with a mishmash of Predator, Aliens, and (gasp) Resident Evil? For man against monster, you can’t beat The Thing. Evil Dead gets the love in the next entry, but is anyone more badass than Ash in The Army of Darkness? Monsters from Hell in Space get their due in Event Horizon, and for a different perspective on why man doesn’t belong up there, check out Mario Bava’s Planet of the Vampires.
House of the Dead
At some point in a movie called House of the Dead, shouldn’t there be a house? The granddaddy of movies that combine houses with zombies is Night of the Living Dead, but The Evil Dead series ramp up the house/zombie action. The movie you haven’t seen, but should, is Undead. This 2003 Australian film features meteorite-created zombies who attack a fishing village, defining horror-shooter in the process.
Super Mario Bros.
First off, watch Mario Twins based on the Group X track. For plumbing action, watch the Wachowskis’ Bound: Corky (Gina Gershon), a plumber, falls in love with Violet (Jennifer Tilly), and together they concoct a scheme to steal millions from the mob and set Violet’s boyfriend Caesar (Joey Pants) up for the fall. What, Bound isn’t mushroomy enough? Try Matango (aka Attack of the Mushroom People) about a ship wreck that strands vacationers on a desert island where the only food source may turn them into living fungi.
Silent Hill
Before Silent Hill takes you by the hand, sits you down, and explains what’s going on, it’s a pretty good movie. The following are better. Messiah of Evil (aka Dead People, The Second Coming, and inexplicably Revenge of the Screaming Dead) serves up a chilling cursed town atmosphere, complete with its own cult. If you like Silent Hill’s “I can’t see anything” motif then watch John Carpenter’s The Fog. For an “is this really happening” movie, watch 1962’s Carnival of Souls, about a woman who survives a near death experience only to become obsessed with an abandoned carnival.
Street Fighter
There’s only one street fighter and his name is Sonny Chiba. The 1970s Street Fighter movies aren’t related to the games, but feature brutally violent martial arts sequences. For tournament style kung fu action, check out Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon and don’t miss the cult classic Master of the Flying Guillotine to see where Capcom got their inspiration for Dhalsim.
Wing Commander
If you want good space combat (and who doesn’t), the short-lived TV series Space: Above and Beyond gets it right. A little grittier than typical sci-fi fare, this series followed a group of space marines on their combat tour against the alien Chigs. The re-vamped Battlestar Galactica has killer starcraft combat, as do most of the sci-fi movies from the 80s (Enemy Mine and The Last Starfighter, for example).