This post is by guest blogger Unlockable Character.
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Tom: proud to be an 8-bit man.I read this article on MSN last week about stuff you shouldn’t buy new and the author thinks I shouldn’t waste money buying new video games. She says I should wait a year to buy a game or game console because it will be a lot cheaper. And saving money makes me smarter.
But I don’t think she knows her target audience. Who says I play games because I want to feel smart? If I was smart, I’d be learning to speak Mandarin or learning how to play the guitar. (Yngwie Malmsteen won’t be around forever. I know, it breaks my heart, but he won’t be, and someone needs to fill his shoes!)
Video games are not for smart people. They’re time-wasters. We have so much free time in the 21st century, not having to fight off wolves and not dying from tuberculosis or syphilis. And this is how we spend our time: wasting it killing monsters.
I lie to myself and say playing increases hand/eye coordination, but realistically, spending hours staring at a flat surface limits the focus of my eyes and ultimately destroys my vision. And glasses make me look like a nerd.
Playing games won’t make me stupid. They only create the illusion that I’m learning something new. But I’m not. And I get the newest games because everyone else is getting the newest games, and I don’t want to feel left out. But as the lady says, if you wait a while, the prices go down and you can buy more games with the same money.
Until the game achieves cult status and the prices go back up.
That’s why I hold on to my copies of Bad Day on the Midway and Harvester. If games aren’t going to make me smarter, they might as well freak me out. And you don’t get much freakier games than Bad Day on the Midway or Harvester: in the former, a serial killer is stalking you and the in the latter, you become the serial killer.
But if ignorance is your monster, then get off your ass and slay that bad thing.
And it’s okay to go outside once in a while. Don’t worry; there haven’t been any wolves seen in these parts for years (but I think there’s some syphilis hanging around down by the corner).