This post is by guest blogger Unlockable Character.
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Get off your ass and get on the Hutch
Give me a minute; I’m practicing my Starsky…
“You’re a super lady. You are a super lady. And see what I’m doing? I’m pointing at you with both fingers so you know that you’re the one. Times two. And you’re my lady. My special lady. This world is a cold, hard place, but with you, I’ve found something beautiful and something precious. I will always be there for you. And if anything ever happened to you, I don’t know what I would do. But somebody would pay. Me and Hutch would hunt him down and he wouldn’t rest until he was caught. However long it took. And when we found him, we’d hit him hard. And we’d take him down. Because he’s garbage, and we’re the garbagemen. And then, and then, he’d be looking at hard time. But don’t worry because I’m here to protect you. Nothing can happen to you when I’m around. But if I’m not around, something could happen because I have a lot of enemies and they might want to get back at me by hurting you. So be careful when you’re out shopping because one of my previous special ladies got a bullet in the brain when I wasn’t around to protect her. But don’t worry; that won’t happen to you. No, don’t cry. Nothing will happen. I’m just saying. But if it did, I would catch that bag of puke and make him pay. Because his bill would be due, and I’d be the bill collector. Here’s to you, my super lady.”
Now, what did you want?