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Categories: Commentary
Tags: grand theft auto, gta
Grand Theft Auto IV is an incredible – some would say perfect – game. But that still doesn’t mean the game can’t be tweaked. Here’s 10 things I’d like to see in GTA V.
Recorded police chases
Nothing beats evading a multi-star police chase by spotting a stunt ramp and exiting the search radius Dukes of Hazzard-style, but imagine if you could record the police chase and re-watch it, send it to your friends, post it on YouTube, or even watch it in-game on Weasel News.
Airbags
I know Liberty City exists in an alternate dimension where no one really owns cars, certainly no one would buy a car, and the cars themselves lack basic security features like door locks and seatbelts. However, I think airbags would have an interesting effect on gameplay – stunning the player and NPCs alike, rendering cars undrivable, and attracting police attention.
Electronic toll collection
If there’s anything which would help Liberty City’s traffic problems, it would be the complete implementation of electronic toll collection. No longer would drivers need to stop their cars, hand over money to a human, and wait for a gate to rise. Just drive past an electronic toll collection point and money is automatically removed from your account.
Real Melee
You know what The Godfather did right? They rocked combat with a Sonny Corleone-style system which included massive beatdowns and grapples. GTA’s punch, kick, counter-system is primitive in comparison.
Henchmen
Good leaders know when to delegate – or at least when to throw change at some chump in return for them spitting lead at your enemies and drawing fire away from your fine Russian threads. Seriously, let me hire some red shirts already.
Weapon storage
In GTA if you die, you lose some money. If you’re arrested, you lose some money and all your freaking weapons. It doesn’t take too long for death to become the more cost effective strategy when a police chase goes south – which can start with a simple traffic infraction. Wouldn’t it be nice to store your weapons in your safehouse until you really needed them?
More efficient friendship time
How many times has this happened to you? You’re out on the town redistributing wealth and one of your buddies calls to whine about how you guys never hang out. It’s hard work being friends, but it would be easier if you could throw parties and hang out with all your friends at once: take your entourage out to a show, hit the strip club with your posse, cover your bros at the bar.
Sending gifts to your girls
Baby, I love you, but I don’t have time for a bowling minigame. Instead, I sent you these flowers. Maybe these will add 2% to our friendship score.
More minigames.
Pool, Bowling, and Darts are fun, but it doesn’t take long for these events to get repetitive – especially since you really aren’t playing against anyone. I mean you are, but their skills and abilities are incidental since you can skip their turn and the whole idea is that you’re hanging out, not competing. Wouldn’t it be more fun if you were playing air hockey against Roman (who wasn’t good) or Brucie (who was)? Does Little Jacob have a good poker face? Think Packie’s boys are any good at paintball? See where I’m going here?
Better Appointment System
I have no sense of time in GTA IV. Everything’s open 24/7, television shows endlessly loop, and day/night cycles only affect the level of traffic. So if I suddenly have to be somewhere on Tuesday at 2:00, I’m pretty much fucked. First off, I have to remember. Secondly, I feel like I can’t do anything from Monday on because I might run out of time. How nuts is that? Imagine if someone wanted to have lunch on Wednesday and you were like, “Y’know I would, but I really need to be somewhere midnight on Thursday.”